Spongebob is Great, Spongebob is Good…

Wonderful. SpongeBob has replaced Jesus as the focus of Sunday worship:

Stepping out from his pineapple under the sea, SpongeBob SquarePants went to church Sunday morning. A large, yellow stuffed doll sat grinning his buck-toothed smile from a rocking chair near the altar at Evangelical United Church of Christ in Webster Groves.

Next to him stood a tall Christmas tree topped with a paper rainbow fish and decorated with hundreds of miniature sponges as a tribute to tolerance.

The Evangelical UCC church decided to incorporate the children’s cartoon character into its service after conservative groups including Focus on the Family’s founder James C. Dobson protested SpongeBob’s appearance in a video sent to schools to promote tolerance. The character has been characterized by conservatives as promoting homosexuality, mainly because he often holds hands with his sidekick, Patrick the starfish, likes to watch the imaginary show “Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy” and is popular with gays.

Pastor Katy Hawker says her church’s beliefs are very different from Dobson’s.

“SpongeBob does not have a lifestyle; it’s nonsensical,” she said.

So is the media’s insistence on misquoting Dobson, who never accused SpongeBob of being a gay icon. But it fits with the prevailing opinion among the pseudo-intellectuals in the media that evangelical Christians are bigots and morons.

In an online forum yesterday, an astronomer from Florida actually insisted that there was no way my wife could possibly be an evangelical and a molecular biologist, and that if she claimed to be both then she didn’t understand what either term meant.

My wife happens to be the most intelligent person I know. (The fact that she married me notwithstanding.) But in the eyes of the Washington Post and many others in this land, accepting Jesus as Lord automatically consigns one to a warped Bizarro World where intelligence and critical thought are evidence of mental and moral deficiency, and blind adherence to an internally inconsistent doctrine of moral relativism is hailed as the ultimate virtue.

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