Stupid Tsunami Quotes

When faced with an event as world-shaking–literally and figuratively–as the south Asian tsunami of December 26, there are those who are moved to write something profound to put the event in context.

Or at least to give themselves mental hernias trying.

Fellow Homespun Blogger Arthur Chrenkoff has compiled a collection of the stupidest things written about the tragedy. A few of the most jaw-dropping:

From a press release, United Nations, “UN Response To Tsunami Focuses On Large And Small” Saturday, 1 January 2005:

[In Sri Lanka] UNFPA is carrying out reproductive health assessments.”

Just what they need.

Sheikh Fawzan Al-Fawzan, a professor at the Al-Imam University in Saudi Arabia confuses Christmas with season’s holidays:

“These great tragedies and collective punishments that are wiping out villages, towns, cities, and even entire countries, are Allah’s punishments of the people of these countries, even if they are Muslims.

“Some of our forefathers said that if there is usury and fornication in a certain village, Allah permits its destruction. We know that at these resorts, which unfortunately exist in Islamic and other countries in South Asia, and especially at Christmas, fornication and sexual perversion of all kinds are rampant. The fact that it happened at this particular time is a sign from Allah. It happened at Christmas, when fornicators and corrupt people from all over the world come to commit fornication and sexual perversion.”

Australian conspiracy nutcase Joe Villas dares to ask the question we’ve all been dying to ask (or not) – “Did New York Orchestrate The Asian Tsunami?” (and he’s not talking about “a butterfly flapping its wings in New York causing a hurricane in Asia” either):

With Afghanistan and Iraq already lost, the Wall Street bankers were all desperately looking for other ways to control our world, when suddenly and very conveniently, the Sumatran Trench exploded. Trick or Treat?

The ultra-homophobic Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas proves it has a dirty, one-track mind:

Thank God for Tsunami & 2,000 dead Swedes!!! How many tsunami-dead Swedes are fags and dykes?

Beyond parody.

That’s Fred Phelps’ church, the preacher who’s made a name by spewing hate against gays and calling it God’s will. Not that Christians should accept and embrace the homosexual agenda, but we’re commanded to speak the truth in love.

Someone should introduce Pastor Phelps to Sheikh Fawzan Al-Fawzan.

Finally, my favorite:

George Monbiot thinks that the Americans should just stick to what they do best:

The US marines who have now been dispatched to Sri Lanka to help the rescue operation were, just a few weeks ago, murdering the civilians (for this, remember, is an illegal war), smashing the homes and evicting the entire population of the Iraqi city of Falluja.

Better send in the morally superior UN peacekeepers, then. Oops, sorry; they’re busy running prostitution rings in Kosovo and Congo.

You can read Chrenkoff’s two collections of stupid tsunami quotes here and here.

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