Their Itching Ears

If this isn’t a sign of the end times, I don’t know what is:

A brand-new translation of the Bible ? praised by Britain’s archbishop of Canterbury, that nation?s senior Christian voice ? flatly contradicts traditional core Christian beliefs on sex and morality.

Titled “Good as New,” the new Bible is translated by former Baptist minister John Henson for the “One” organization, to produce what the group calls a “new, fresh and adventurous” translation of the Christian scriptures. …

According to Ekklesia, a London-based “theological think tank” that supports the “One” translation: “The translation is pioneering in its accessibility, and changes the original Greek and Hebrew nomenclature into modern nicknames. St. Peter becomes ‘Rocky,’ Mary Magdalene becomes ‘Maggie,’ Aaron becomes ‘Ron,’ Andronicus becomes ‘Andy’ and Barabbas becomes ‘Barry.'”

In keeping with the times, translator Henson deftly translates “demon possession” as “mental illness” and “Son of Man,” the expression Jesus frequently used to describe himself, as “the Complete Person.” In addition, parables are rendered as “riddles,” baptize is to “dip” in water, salvation becomes “healing” or “completeness” and Heaven becomes “the world beyond time and space.”

Here’s how [Dr. Rowan] Williams, the top Anglican archbishop, describes the new Bible: “Instead of being taken into a specialized religious frame of reference ? as happens even with the most conscientious of formal modern translations ? and being given a gospel addressed to specialized concerns ? we have here a vehicle for thinking and worshipping that is fully earthed, recognizably about our humanity.”

“Specialized concerns”–like everlasting life? Heaven and hell? The fate of my eternal soul?

Earth to Rt. Rev. Williams: Paul said that anyone who preached a different gospel, whether man or angel, would be eternally cursed. And you’re on the wrong side of the line.

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